King of Purgatory
by same.lame.name
Summary: The Yondaime needed extra help from the Shinigami to seal the Kyuubi, but involuntarily shoved the debt on Naruto. Now, five years later, the Shinigami is swamped, so he gives some of his workload to Naruto. On HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did then...Well I'm not sure what I'd do! Something to think about...hmm.

"People talking"

"People thinking"

#Ghosts talking#

#Shinigami talking#

"Kyuubi talking"

The Shinigami, God of Death, Lord of Doom and Gloom, and Absolute Controller of the Only Complete Destiny, had a headache. It wasn't unlike the headache many Kages got when they had an excess of paperwork. Only, in the Shinigami's case, it was an excess of souls. Cursing all shinobi, who seemed to take particular pleasure in sending him more souls everyday than the average life-span allowed, he rifled through his paperwork. Not only did he have to gather all the souls that died of natural causes, but he also had to govern limbo, or purgatory, until the souls who had been killed or done horrible sins in life worked off their debt or just waited to get out.

Even for a god, that was too much. He was hoping against hope that he might be able to shirk off one of his duties off to some poor mortal, preferably one that wouldn't die anytime soon so he could finally catch up on his work. Then one file caught the Shinigami's eye. He smiled evilly, as only the bearer of doom can.

#Yukia,# he said to a impassive ghost at his side. She looked up questioningly from he mountain of paperwork in front of her.

#I think its time to make good on that deal I made with the Yondaime Hokage#

Uzumaki Naruto was sitting up in bed, listening to the rowdy crowd outside of his apartment building. He held a rusty kunai in a loose defensive stance, and hoped that they would not break in like last year. The natives were restless, so to speak, and what's worse it was at him, though he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. Suddenly there was a rush of air, and a slight chill and a great transparent being appeared in front of Naruto.

Naruto, being five years old, instantly yelped. The figure in front of him laughed, which of course did nothing to sate his fear. But for a five year old, he was remarkably resourceful. Naruto launched the kunai at the figure which it passed right through it. At this point Naruto instantly backed up to the wall, searching for his small stash of explosive tags.

Throwing as many as he could find, Naruto used the following chaos to escape out the window. Running through the village, he dodged angry villagers, instinctually heading for the forest, the place he always went to escape the hate of the the villagers.

Back at Naruto's now smoking apartment, the Shinigami scowled. Here he was trying to cut down on his workload, and all he found was a scrawny kid who had the audacity to throw thing at him. Running off in the direction that he had seen Naruto disappear, he silently cursed all blondes.

Reaching the forest clearing where Naruto was hiding, the Shinigami called out so as not to frighten him like before.

#Hey, kid, come out, I'm not going to hurt you!#

There was a slight rustling in one of the bushes, and a scornful voice answered his.

"Yeah, well you better not! Old Man Hokage said that he'd hurt anyone who so much as laid a finger on me!"

The Shinigami almost laughed at Naruto's false bravado before realizing that if he did, then Naruto might run away again. He walked out from behind a tree, letting himself fall directly into Naruto's view. At the sight of all of the Shinigami's full 7 foot tall glory, Naruto turned to run again with out a second thought.

Sighing, and not wanting another chase, the Shinigami just signaled to one of his minions, who poked Naruto on the back of the head, sending him into unconsciousness.

The Shinigami, grumbling all the time about troublesome brats, touched Naruto on the forehead, giving him power over purgatory, and all the ghosts in it. A small swirl appeared for a few seconds where the had Shinigami touched him before fading away.

Too annoyed at the brat to actually wait until he woke up to explain all the rules, he just dropped a scroll containing all the rules of limbo next to him, and gestured at random ghost to make sure that he didn't get eaten or anything. It be very frustrating to have to find another unsuspecting mortal because he had let the first one die within hours of instating him.

Pausing for a second, he bent down and touched Naruto's seal, burning a hole through the fabric, feeling for the demon he knew was down there. Carefully, he slowly released the pressure on the kitsune, until his cage was much larger without any danger of him escaping.

Kyuubi mumbled something like gratitude. #Heh, just go easy on the kid, Kyuubi.# Again Kyuubi mumbled something which might have been assent, and the Shinigami left it at that.

#Yukia,# he directed towards the faithful ghost at his side. #I only gave him a little of the power at first, so he'll need someone to help him figure everything out.#

#I understand,# she replied, sitting down next to the sleeping five year old. The Shinigami nodded once, and disappeared, already dreading the build up of work waiting for him.

The next morning, Naruto woke up in the middle of the forest, wondering how he got all the way out here. Looking round for a stream to take a bath in, he nearly tripped over his own feet when he heard a voice speak to him in his head.

"Hey kid!" Turning around and nearly rolling over in midair, he looked around for the source of the voice.

"Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3, can anybody hear me?"

"Who's there?" Naruto yelled, thoroughly spooked.

"Hey, cotton-ears brat. I was wondering when you were going to wake up," the disembodied voice said cheerfully.

"Who...who are you?" Naruto asked, suddenly remembering a bad dream about a twenty foot floating monster, and getting very nervous.

"I'm the Kyuubi! All-powerful fire demon!" (A/N I confess, I borrowed this from Howl's Moving Castle).

"Why in the world are you talking to me?" Naruto didn't know much about demons. He had people call him a demon before, but every time he had asked the Hokage the old man had skillfully turned his attention toward ramen. Maybe if this kyuubi-demon-person-whatever and Naruto were both demons, he wouldn't be mean to him.

"Um, well, lets just say I'm interested in your welfare. Every time you have a problem, just ask me in your head. I'll listen, and try to help you." There, that should make the old Shinigami happy, Kyuubi grumbled.

"Ahh, you can read minds?" Naruto shouted, loudly enough that a few birds flew from some near-by trees.

"Um, not really, only yours. But don't worry, I'll only read your mind when you ask me to," the Kyuubi replied, sweatdropping.

"Am I a demon too? Is that why you're being nice to me?" Naruto asked, and started walking towards a brook he heard in the distance. He was thirsty and amazingly practical for a five year old.

"Not really. If anything, you're a hanyou, a half-demon." Naruto nodded, sitting next to the edge of the stream, taking off his shoes and dangling them in the water. _Well, that explains why the villagers hate me so much. Half-demon, huh? That's not so bad. I just wish people were nicer about it..._ He thought, is mind drifting.

#Hiya!# a strange voice right next to his ear. Naruto promptly fell into the stream in surprise. He turned, soaking, to see a person standing in front of him. It was a girl, about twelve or so, in a green kimono with dark brown armor over it. She had long black hair tied in a braid that hung all the way down her back, and had a konoha hitae-ate (A/N You know, the headbands.) The weirdest thing about her, though, was the fact that he could see through her.

"What the hell?" Naruto yelled, thinking that if he had anymore surprises today, he was going to have a heart attack.

#I said hi!# said the see-through girl. #Oh of course! I haven't introduced myself! My name is Yukia!#

"Why the hell are you see-through?" asked Naruto, loudly.

"Cuz she's a ghost, kid," Kyuubi said nonchalantly, trying to be helpful.

"A ghost?" Naruto gulped, sitting down in the middle of the stream, his brain going into overdrive. Its not everyday that you learn you're a half-demon, hear voices and see dead people, after all.

"Whatever it is, I didn't do it!" Naruto said, suddenly thinking of a reason why a ghost would be talking to him. He had somehow offended Kami and he had sent a ghost to tell him off. At least, hopefully only to tell him off...

#What do you mean? Do what?# The girl turned around, as though trying to find Naruto's mistake painted on the landscape. Apparently she didn't find anything of interest because she turned back to Naruto and explained, #Anyway, I'm here because you're the new Ruler of Ghosts,# the girl, Yukia, said, puzzled by Naruto's strange behavior.

"Eh? Nani? What do you mean, 'Ruler of Ghosts'?" Naruto asked cautiously, on guard for a trick.

#Well, the Shinigami, God of Death, and normally Ruler of Ghosts, has decided to bestow that power on you,# Yukia replied.

"What power?" asked Naruto looking at his hand as though he expected to see a sign that said "Ghostly Powers Here!".

#Um, well, you get order ghosts around, but you're the only one who can see us, and you have to help ghosts adjust to purgatory,# Yukia said.

"You mean there are more of you?" Naruto asked, looking around, this time searching for more freaky transparent people.

#Yes, but you can't see us now. You can only see me because you have to start somewhere. It just takes a few days before the powers to take full effect. You should be happy, its a great honor,# she concluded, a little snobbishly.

"Whatever," Naruto groaned through a full-blown headache, heading instinctually towards the one place that would make him feel better. "I'll deal with this later." Protesting, Yukia followed him all the way to a small ramen shop in the middle of Konoha. In a deep-thought-induced-haze, Naruto made way through five bowls before feeling good enough to talk. By this time Yukia had stopped complaining and was just watching in open mouthed amazement as the little kid in front of her ate and ate and ate.

"So, King of Purgatory, huh?" Naruto smiled at the owner of the restaurant, paying his bill with more than a little regret at how much it cost. "What does that mean?" Naruto instantly regretted the question, as Yukia launched into full lecture mode. All Naruto really got out of it was that the Shinigami was so loaded up with paper work that he had dumped Naruto with all the dead people in the world. He supposed it wasn't that bad, a least someone would talk to him other than Old Man Hokage and the owner of the ramen restaurant and his daughter.

"We're here," Naruto announced, walking into small and admittedly dirty apartment.

#Already? Anyway, tomorrow I'll start teaching you about your duties as King of Purgatory. You should go to sleep,# Yukia said bossily.

"But I'm not tired!" yawned Naruto, right before he fell over, asleep. Yukia sweatdropped, and dragged him to his bed, mumbling about troublesome brats.

(A/N) Hey, I hope you liked the story! I know its short, but its just the first chapter. I tried to write Naruto believably as a five year old, but I think I need to exercise my writing muscles more before its perfect. ::sigh:: Anyway, I won't agonize over it now. Let me know if I made any mistakes, constructive criticism is always welcome. Flames will be used to test fire extinguishers. Oh, and thanks to my beta Squirrelbait the Third. If you have complaints about the grammar or spelling, tell me and I'll tell her. ::Evil laugh::


	2. Median

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did then...Well

I'm not sure what I'd do! Something to think about...hmm.

"People talking"

"People thinking"

#Ghosts talking#

"Kyuubi talking"

When Naruto woke up, the first thing he saw was Yukia's face, and everything behind it.

"Aahhhhh!" Naruto yelled, falling out of bed.

"Hey, kid, keep it down, I'm trying to sleep," Kyuubi mumbled, sounding sleepy.

"Don't do that!" yelled Naruto, ignoring Kyuubi completely.

#Sorry, I was just wondering if you were alright,# Yukia said humbly. Naruto didn't have a person worrying about him often, so he just scratched the back of his head and mumbled a quick 'sorry.'

#Anyway, we have your lessons,# Yukia replied, her cheerfulness returning in the blink of an eye.

"Lessons?" Naruto asked cautiously, not quite sure what to make of this. He had heard older kids complain about school, but Naruto didn't think it sounded that bad.

#Yeah, you have the Rules of Limbo in your back pocket. It should explain a lot,# Yukia said, falling into lecture mode again.

"Huh?" Naruto pulled out said roll from his pocket, looking at it mystified. "How did this get here?"

#As long as you're King of Purgatory, you will always be able to find it, and no one else will be able to discover it.#

"That's handy!" Naruto unrolled he scroll, looking over it. "Um, I can't really read," he said, embarrassed.

#Oh, really? Don't worry, I'll just summarize it for you, and later I can teach you how to read. Okay?# Naruto nodded in appreciation.

#Alright. Basically, purgatory is where a soul goes to pay off a debt they made in life. A debt could be anything as small as a favor they didn't repay, all the way up to a big sin, like murder.

# A ghost's stay in purgatory is equal to the amount of sins and debts they have, or, if they were murdered, the amount of life they had left over from their life-span. The only way a ghost can hurry up the process is to do a job for the King of Purgatory. The amount of debt they have left over determines the amount of time they can stay on that job. Ninjas that have died have their chakra reduced to half of what it was, but can only use it if the Shinigami commands them to. How's that?#

Naruto was sitting on his bed, looking thoughtful. "So I can command ghosts as long as they still have debts?"

#Yeah, basically,# Yukia said, raising her eyebrows in surprise at how quickly Naruto was grasping his powers. #You caught on rather quickly.#

"I was paying attention," he said, shrugging. "Now, time for breakfast!" He leapt off of his bed, running for the kitchen. Yukia sweatdropped, catching him as he tried to get some ramen out of the cupboard.

#Oh no, you're getting a real breakfast!# she said, and started to drag him out of his apartment.

Fortunately she let go of him before the villagers could get suspicious of him being pulled along by an invisible force. Yukia watched as Naruto went to the grocery store, pointing out all the things he needed, promising him a big meal. Naruto brightened at this, but Yukia noticed the drop in his mood when the cashier royally overcharged him. Frowning, she knew that she would have to find him a steady supply of money, as well as try to find some strong ninjas to teach him. That was the good thing about strong shinobi; you didn't get many dead, but when you got one they stuck around for a long time.

After a incredibly large breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast and fruit -which Naruto devoured in less than a minute flat, much to Yukia's surprise- Naruto was ready for a food-induced nap. However, Yukia had other plans for him.

#I'm going to teach you a ninja skill called 'henge',# she told him, and he instantly perked up.

#Okay, you know how to manipulate chakra, right?# When

Naruto just shook his sheepishly, she sighed. This was going to be another long day.

Over the next few months, Naruto learned how to manipulate chakra and do henge, kawarimi, and a few other low level jutsus at an astonishing rate. As soon as he mastered henge he got a job at a local building sight, under the name Kisa. He had completely grown into his powers as a mini-Shinigami, and had found a very practical use for each one, mostly scouting or writing down nin, gen, and tai jutsus for him to practice. Thus, when Naruto joined the Academy, he would most likely be light years ahead of the other students, and probably picked on. Unfortunately for her, the dreaded day had come, and Naruto had dragged her all the way to the academy to see him off.

She didn't really mind, seeing as she was the closest thing to a family that he had. Naruto was jumping around in excitement, waving at all the kids, barely even minding when their parents pulled them away.

Naruto entered the classroom after waving goodbye to Yukia (who said she had other business to attend to), and sat down right next to a pink-haired girl with green eyes that reminded him of Yukia's. Soon after, a tired looking boy with hair pulled into a spiky pony-tail sat down next to him on the other side. Naruto introduced himself to both of them, getting a name from the pink haired girl, 'Sakura', and a polite 'hnn' from the boy. A few ghosts lingering around him told him that the boy was a Nara, a clan famous for their genius, their laziness, and their deer.

Soon a teacher arrived, restoring order to the rowdy classroom. Naruto was grateful. He wasn't used to being around a lot of people, and was starting to get nervous. At least the two people sitting next to him didn't seem to be interested in being loud at all—Sakura looked like she was about to cry and the Nara boy had fallen asleep.

"Okay," the teacher said, smiling at his class. "My name is Iruka, Iruka-sensei to all of you. Since I doubt that any of you know each other, when I point to you, state your name and goal. You first." Iruka-sensei pointed at a purple-haired, white eyed girl.

"Ano, my name is Hyuuga Hinata, and my goal is, ano …making my family proud," the girl stuttered out, barely audible. Next came Aburame Shino, with something about bugs. By this time Naruto wasn't paying any attention to what his classmates were saying. A ghost was informing him more about them then what they probably knew themselves.

Finally, when it came to Naruto, he jumped up, smiling. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. My goal is to learn everything about the village." It was a fitting goal, because ever since he had found out about the usefulness of ghosts for spying, no secret was safe. He probably knew more about the village than everyone except the hokage. Still, Naruto knew that a lot of the village was still a mystery, and would not stop until his curiosity was sated.

Meanwhile, Iruka was trying very hard not to scream. How dare they! How dare they put the demon in his class! Struggling against his instinct to strangle the grinning blonde, he just gave a curt nod and moved onto the girl next to him. It wouldn't do to kill one of his own students, after all. Even if the demon had killed his parents.

Naruto soon noticed how Iruka-sensei seemed to purposely ignore him. He understood why he did this. Demons, after all, were humans' natural enemies. Even if Naruto was only a hanyou (A/N Remember, Kyuubi told him he was a half demon, not a jinchuuriki) he hoped that someone still alive would accept him. Sighing, Naruto ignored the rest of the lesson, stuff he had learned from a dead konoha-nin ages ago. Instead, he listened to a kiri-nin explain the basics of an advanced genjutsu, something the rest of his classmates would not learn for a few years.

Coming home from school Naruto talked to Yukia right in the open, ignoring the looks of the villagers as they watched him talking to himself. Yukia noticed, however. Sighing, she realized that he either needed a special kind of hand signals, or always had someone to talk to who was deaf. She knew that this was going to happen.

#Hey Naruto,# Yukia said, leading him toward the forest. #There's something I want to give you.# She walked to the base of a tree. Yukia had been searching for this all day. She knew that eventually Naruto would have to have a median like all human Kings of Purgatory. It would probably be hard to find him a human median with the way the villagers were, so she had found an animal one instead. Finally, just before the Academy day ended, she had found it.

#Here you go,# she said, handing him the cutest little red and gold fox. #This is your median. A median is basically who you talk to when others are watching. They are also your bodyguard, though usually they are deaf. You are the first King to have an animal median,# Yukia explained.

Naruto, however, was getting acquainted with his new pet. Because of the Kyuubi, the little fox's barks and yips were actually a conversation.

"Who are you? You smell like a fox but you look like a human," it asked.

"I'm Naruto, and I'm half kitsune. That why I smell like a fox," Naruto said, introducing himself.

#Are you even listening to me?# yelled Yukia, a vein throbbing on her clenched fist.

"Yeah, I was, sorry Yukia," Naruto said sheepishly, putting the little fox on his shoulder.

#You can understand her?# Yukia asked, surprised.

"Um, yeah." He listened to the fox for a second, and then smiled. "She says her name is Akira. "

#Good, that's very helpful. If you need to talk to a ghost and there are other people around, just talk to Akira.#

"But won't people think that I'm going crazy if I start talking to a fox?" Naruto asked.

#Its better than them thinking that you're talking to yourself, or worse, the Kyuubi. I doubt that anyone, even a villager, would mistake cute little Akira for Kyuubi, but if they do then I doubt they would see her as a threat, tiny as she is.#

"I can't just suddenly start to talk to animals. Its not like I'm related to the Inuzukas."

#Say it's a bloodline,# Yukia shrugged. #The kids will accept it, and the adults will assume that it's a side effect of the Kyuubi. Meanwhile, Akira will be a good friend.#

"Okay," grumbled Naruto, pretending unconvincingly to be upset with the outcome.

"I'm hungry!" Akira suddenly announced. "Where can we eat?"

Naruto laughed, and took off at a sprint to a certain ramen shop.

**I sorta rushed this chapter. I didn't really have a clear idea about how to do what I wanted. Hopefully its not too rushed. I have a clearer view of the next few chapters, so they should be better.**

**A big thanks to my beta, Squirrelbait the Third! Also, questions, suggestions, and constructive criticism are always welcome.**

**Flames will be used to test fire extinguishers. **


	3. Massacre

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did then I'd have Free Ramen Thursdays.

"People talking"

_"People thinking"_

#Ghosts talking#

**"Kyuubi talking"**

_Here at least_

_We shall we be free; the Almighty hath not built_

_Here for his envy; will not drive us hence;_

_Here we may reign secure; and in my choice_

_To we reign is worth ambition, though in hell:_

_Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven-_

_Jack London, Sea Wolf_

Naruto soon learned that it did him no good to pay attention in class. All the things Iruka-sensei taught he already knew. It was the same when he tried to do good in the written tests, or practical lessons. The teacher who graded his work (Mizuki something-or-other) always gave him a failing grade, and Iruka never let him participate in throwing shruiken, or anything of that nature.

Naruto wouldn't even be in school if it weren't for Yukia and the fact that it was only way he knew to become a genin. As it were, he gained the reputation of not only the dead-last, but also of someone who daydreamed all day long. This was no doubt to the fact that he would stare sleepily off into space during class when he was actually being taught by teachers with far greater experience than Iruka.

After school Naruto would disappear into the forest for hours on end, not that anyone really noticed except the Hokage. He would train; with Akira and his more practical phantasmic senseis. He quickly swallowed jutsus, learning them as though they were second nature. He also learned strategy by having many ghosts attack him at once, and, even though they could not use chakra, he quickly grasped how to defeat many opponents at once.

Then it was back to Konoha for dinner, where he could usually get Yukia to allow him to got to Ichiraku's for ramen (as long as he had had a healthy breakfast and lunch). Teuchi, the man who ran Ichiraku, and his daughter, Ayame, were always happy to see him. Even though Naruto never said much, and was always seemingly lost in thought, his bright blue and wide smile warmed up the little shop. Just his presence, while he ate bowl after bowl of ramen, seemed to lift the spirits of both people.

Of course, the reason why he always stared off into space was that he was hearing the reports of all his spies, and he always knew exactly what was happening in the village--gossip beyond any busybody's greatest dream. Naruto chuckled slightly at the story of what had happened to a particularly unlucky chuunin, Genma, who had accidently walked in on his commander, a woman called Anko, when she was in a _very_ bad mood. The ghost, a former stone-nin, continued, saying that his condition was now stable, but everyone was too afraid to go visit him incase Anko was there, chewing him out.

Naruto had another chuckle at Genma's expense, laughing at him for making such a foolish mistake. Next, news of something amiss with the Uchiha clan, something about their prodigy killing another one of the clan, apparently his best friend. Shaking his head at how screwed up that was and making a mental note to talk with the unfortunate dead Uchiha, Naruto finished his ramen and headed back to his apartment, discussing hunting techniques with Akira all the while. Still, he could not shake the feeling of foreboding he had.

6v9

Naruto knew that this was going to be a bad day as soon as he woke up. Yukia was in a particularly fierce mood, apparently having lost a bet that she had made with a snow country civilian a week before. Naruto had an idea what it was, but did not venture a question and risk her temper turning on him.

He grabbed an apple on his way out, and then noticed the second thing that was off about the morning. Akira was whimpering, her whole tiny frame shivering.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried.

"I don't know. Its just bad. Very, very bad," she replied, shuddering.

His nerves on edge, Naruto walked out into the village. There were no birdsong, no happy humming that comes from the collective noise of a city, only dull, flat sounds. It seemed that everyone, consciously or unconsciously, was effected by the seeming doom. Or maybe, having a connection with the Shinigami made him more receptive to people's emotions, and there was nothing amiss after all.

When he arrived at the Academy, Akira didn't run up and immediately start bothering Akamaru like she usually did, but rather stayed inside Naruto's shirt, still shivering. The day was relatively quite, which only served to unnerve him farther. Iruka seemed slightly disquieted at the uneasy calm as well. He didn't even sneer and ignore Naruto when he raised his hand to answer a question. Rather, he called on him and congratulated him on answering the question correctly. That was when Naruto was positive something was off.

It was only when class ended for the day that the ominous cloud finally became overpowering. Naruto had just walked out of the classroom when a wave of nausea hit. He fell too his knees, dark clouds on the edge of his vision. Ghosts roared in his ears, their anguish and sorrow bringing tears to his eyes.

_#Betrayal, murder, horror...avenge, HATE!#_ they bellowed, too outraged to form coherent sentences. Naruto couldn't understand them even if they were talking properly, as there were too many ghosts suddenly arriving in purgatory. Once this had happened when a group of kiri nins were slaughtered, and they overwhelmed the ghosts Naruto had stationed to welcome and explain their new status of death. It had nearly sent him unconscious, because he felt the last emotion that the ghosts had felt before they had died. Usually the other ghosts took care of it, absorbing it rather than letting Naruto feel it. Once you're dead then all other emotions seem pale in comparison. Now there were simply too many strong emotions to be absorbed, and not all the ghosts were hovering around Naruto, though more were arriving every minute.

Suddenly Yukia appeared next to him, trying to fight off the ghosts who were overloading Naruto's senses. Surprisingly, Iruka, who had just left the classroom, saw Naruto, and would have walked right past him if had not moaned.It was a moan of pure anguish, the sound of somebody having their heart ripped apart by too many emotions. Iruka instead stopped, his natural mother-hen instinct kicking in, and he bent down to comfort the boy.

Even as he started rubbing Naruto's back, and making comforting noises to him, he wondered why he was doing it. Giving comfort to the demon that had killed his parents... yet the moan that Naruto had let escape his lips, the only sound that he had made, even though he was obviously in intense pain, and sorrow, that sound was so heartbreaking. It wasn't a sound that a demon could make.

Naruto could only vaguely sense Iruka and Yukia, as he could only feel intense pain in all the areas that the ghosts had been killed in. That dimmed in comparison to the immense feelings of betrayal and anger that he felt because of the ghosts. He was more used to an incredible feeling of hate, and betrayal was a hundred times worse. It felt like his heart, his whole insides, would be torn apart in the violent storm that was his emotions. He was therefore not surprised when he coughed up blood.

Iruka, seeing him coughing up blood, instantly decided that it would be best to take him to the Hokage, or the hospital, at least. However, at that moment, one of the newly-arrived ghosts broke through the protective circle around Naruto.

#Please!# she screamed, tears of desperation running down her face. #Help me! My son! The Uchiha compound, hurry!#

Naruto, however, was too far gone with absorbing the blunt of the combined emotions of the nearly-slaughtered clan. More were arriving every minute, and he was fighting with all his strength to stay conscious. He hadn't realized that Iruka had picked him up, and was carrying him to the hospital, or how closely Yukia was following behind.

**"Here kid, let me handle this,"** the Kyuubi said, taking pity on him. Suddenly, the pain around Naruto's heart lessened, and his mind cleared. He could hear the desperate screams and cries of the ghost-woman beside him.

As Naruto looked at the woman, with her beautiful long black hair, perfect skin, all marred by the despairing look in her eyes and face, he wished, just for a second, that somebody would feel that way for him. Then he managed a weak smile at her, and nodded at her.

He would save her son, and make sure that she would never look that hopeless again. Naruto knew what it felt like to be in trouble with no one to help you, and he wanted to save this woman from that fate.

Naruto found himself in the arms of a frantic Iruka, who seemed anxious about _him_.

"L'me go," he murmured. Iruka looked relieved at Naruto's sudden activity, but shook his head. He needed to get Naruto to the hospital as quickly as possible, so he sped up. Naruto, however, had other plans. When Iruka was slightly distracted by a larger than normal gap between two rooftops, he jumped down.

Naruto quickly ran, following the woman, who was running nearly as fast as a shinobi. He ran while trying to fight off dizziness, alarmed at the swelling of the ghosts, and starting to be overpowered by the combined emotions again.

But he kept running, because he would _not_ break his promise, and he _would_ save this woman's son.

He arrived at the Uchiha compound, and immediately sensed something wrong. There were no people, but he could sense where they had died, almost as if he could see their deaths at the moment it had happened. Shaking this feeling off, he followed the woman again, even though he no longer needed to. Now that he was away from the entrance of the compound, he could hear the battle clearly.

Turning around the corner, he saw something that would stay with him the rest of his life. He was wrong. It wasn't the sound of a battle he had heard. It was the sound of slaughter.

Multiple Uchiha, running, screaming, begging, but very few fighting. In the middle of the chaos, in the eye of the hurricane, there stood one man. Another Uchiha by the look of him, but it looked like he was the only one fighting. The rest of the clan looked either non-combantant, or accepting of their fate, like they knew it was coming. Naruto watched one elderly man kneel before the slaughterhouse Uchiha, exposing his neck, as though waiting for the killing blow that came moments later. Naruto probably would have charged in, right then and there, to fight the massacre, had not Iruka arrived at that very moment.

"Naruto-" he began before seeing what was happening. Fortunately Iruka was battle trained, and responded quickly. He grabbed Naruto, dragging him to another alleyway. Iruka made sure Naruto was safe, before running as quickly as possible towards the Hokage tower. He would have taken Naruto with him, except time was of the essence, and Naruto looked very reluctant to move.

Naruto moved as soon as Iruka was out of sight, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, like one of his ghost instructors had taught him. He spotted the woman's son with her help, and scrambled down the wall to warn him about the danger.

When he reached the ground he gasped when he saw who was standing in front of him. It was Sasuke.

"Hey, what are you doing in the Uchiha compound? You're not allowed in here," Sasuke said, his fingers reaching for his weapons pouch.

"Sasuke, stop that! You can't go in here. You'll be killed," Naruto said, slightly annoyed that Sasuke thought he was just there to trespass.

"Yeah right. That's not funny. Just because you're an orphan it doesn't mean you can joke like that," Sasuke said, exasperated.

"I'm not joking! Does it look like it? I mean it Sasuke, I'm not goofing off, and you need to listen to me!" Naruto shouted harshly. "You must have noticed it. No people, no sounds, no nothing. Don't tell me that you're so a poor of a ninja that you did not notice that!"

At first Sasuke huffed, his natural Uchiha pride rearing its head. It was not everyday that the star pupil got told off by the deadlast. Then he listened.

Naruto watched as Sasuke's face first got red, then white, whiter than its usual pallor color.

"What's happening?" Sasuke asked, in a husky voice. "I swear to kami, Naruto, that if you're joking..."

"I'm not joking, Sasuke. You just have to wait here, Iruka is getting help," even as Naruto spoke, a group of ANBU approached them.

"Are you alright?" one of the ANBU stopped to ask Sasuke, completely ignoring Naruto.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked in faintly squeaky voice.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of it," the bird masked ANBU assured him. Then he noticed Naruto. "What are you doing here, demon?" he asked, his voice cold.

Naruto merely shrugged, hoping that the ANBU would forget about him, so he could go home and hopefully avoid a building headache. No such luck, however.

"Naruto came to warn me about going farther into the Uchiha compound," Sasuke said, trying to be helpful. Mentally Naruto cursed him into oblivion.

"Is that so? How would you know about this, huh, demon?" Swearing against Sasuke, the crazy Uchiha, and the Shinigami who all had seemed to conspired to get him into this mess, he tried to come up with a good lie when the bird faced ANBU was distracted by another ANBU.

"We managed to save about twenty of them, sir," the new ANBU reported.

"What do you mean 'saved about twenty?'" Sasuke nearly screamed, and Naruto took that as his cue to go. Let the stuck up ANBU deal with a hysterical drama king. As much as he felt sorry for Sasuke, he wanted a hot bath.

As soon as he into his apartment he was enveloped in a warm, fierce hug from Yukia.

#Never, _ever_ scare me like that again,# she cried, hugging him again. Naruto looked at her transparent face. It was torn by a range of emotions, such as grief and sorrow, but the chief look on her face was relief. Relief at having him back, safe.

Naruto was stunned. No one had ever been that worried about him, not even the Hokage. It reminded him of Sasuke's mother, how desperate she was, even though she was dead, to save him. Hesitantly, Naruto hugged Yukia back.

(A/N) I hope you liked this chapter, and sorry I haven't updated in awhile. In my defense, I had to get rabies shots (ouch!), and finish up the school year. I also saw all the 3rd movies that just came out. I didn't like Shrek, but I absolutely loved Pirates and Spidey.

Please review! Constructive criticism, and questions are always welcome. Flames will be used to test fire extinguishers. 


	4. Scroll

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did then I'd have Free Ramen Thursdays.

"People talking"

_"People thinking"_

#Ghosts talking#

**"Kyuubi talking"**

I couldn't stand it any longer. I finished the chapter, so I'm updating. Sorry for the wait and the unbetaedness.

6v9

At first cock crow the ghosts must go

Back to their quiet graves below-

Theodosia Garrison

The next day Sasuke was absent from school, and there was a lot of news about what had happened with the Uchiha clan, and about the nineteen survivors. Naruto, who was still suffering from a headache from the storm of emotions that he had received from the massacre, hardly listened to word of gossip. Most of it was pretty ridiculous.

One rumor said that Sasuke had single handedly protected the eighteen survivors with only basic jutsu from the academy and a fire technique he had learned from his father. Never-mind that the massacre had started when Sasuke was still in school.

Another reason that Naruto didn't notice the absurd amount of rumors about Sasuke was something that completely and utterly shocked him. Iruka was being nice to him! _That_ was enough to get him to pay attention in class. He even answered every question right whenever Iruka called on him. Iruka looked stunned every time Naruto did this, and he had a good time shocking Iruka all day long.

_I really shouldn't be so surprised,_ Iruka thought ruefully. _I just didn't know he payed attention in classes._

After class Iruka started walking next to Naruto nonchalantly. Naruto looked at him suspiciously. Sure, he was nicer in class, but this was just plain weird.

"So, Naruto, would you like to get something to eat?" Iruka asked hesitantly. Naruto suddenly got a very fox-like look of cunning on his face.

"I know exactly were to go! Ichiraku's ramen!" Naruto shouted, delightedly. Iruka laughed, glad that he could go to a place Naruto liked so much.

When they reached the restaurant the man behind the counter instantly spotted Naruto.

"Hey, Naruto, how are you doing?"

"Great old man! Iruka-sensei offered to treat me! So I'll have the Uzumaki Special!" Naruto replied jovially.

"Is that so?" the old man asked in a way that sent a chill up Iruka's spine. "What for you then, sir?"

"A beef ramen, then, please," Iruka said. As he sat down, he could have sworn that he heard a _'sucker'_ from the shop owner. This was soon forgotten as a bowl of ramen was placed in front of him. Hesitantly, he took a bite. Delicious! He slurped it down, forgoing any sense of manners he might have had. It was gone in a matter of minutes with lots of slurping.

Sheepishly, Iruka turned to Naruto to apologize for being rude, but stopped dead at the sight of the mountain of bowls behind Naruto. As he sat there gaping Akira came out of Naruto's sleeve to daintily sip from her own bowl of specially prepared rabbit ramen.

"Well, that took you all of 10 minutes? Geez, Iruka-sensei, I didn't know that you were such a slow eater!" Naruto exclaimed, and ran off. Leaving Iruka with one aloof fox, an insanely large bill, and two very, very happy ramen shop owners.

Over the next few months leading up to the genin graduation Sasuke returned to the Academy. His popularity, if possible, increased. He was withdrawn, but seemed to brighten up occasionally. He still preformed well at school, top of the class. Naruto, feeling sorry for him and knowing what it was like to feel alone, decided to do his best to help Sasuke. Plus it was time for a human friend, Yukia had told him.

Knowing that he would not welcome pity or open friendship, Naruto tried something he was not too strong with: subtlety.

At first it was just Naruto hanging around the training yard where he practiced, engaging him in the occasional spar, and beating off his fan club if he needed to make a quick get away. Then they started teaching each other jutsus, sitting together in the classroom and at lunch, and various other little things.

Before Sasuke even realized how it happened, he and Naruto became inseparable. They never really spoke more than twenty words to each other, but it was very rare to see one with out the other.

It was a strange friendship, but it worked very well. Villagers never dared taunt or abuse Naruto while the Uchiha "prodigy" was with him, and Sasuke's fanclub learned to fear the mere sight of Naruto.

Sasuke never really noticed how much Naruto meant to him as a friend until he didn't come to school one day. Only Iruka and the shy Hyuuga seemed worried he was gone. The other teachers looked like they were ready to throw a party. Sasuke knew something was wrong. Naruto was never sick. The only reason that he would be out of school was if he were seriously injured.

Besides being worried about Naruto, Sasuke was having a hard time at school. Apparently, for the Sasuke Fanclub, no Naruto meant free access to Sasuke. It took Sasuke nearly an hour and several disguises which Naruto had taught him just to get away. He finally reached Naruto's apartment, having shaken off two of his most avid pursuers, the Dreaded Pink-haired Sakura, and the Feared, Fast Ino.

Sasuke knocked on the door, but no one answered. All he heard was a small scratching noise before the door swung open. There sat Naruto's little fox, Akira. She yipped worriedly at Sasuke, before walking towards Naruto's room. Sasuke followed hesitantly.

What he saw froze him to the core. Naruto, sprawled out on the bed, unconscious, with dried blood on his chest and around his mouth.

Yukia was in a panic. Not only would the Shinigami kill her if she let Naruto die, she also was very fond of him, and if he died she could never forgive herself. She had come to think of him as her little brother, and even though he would probably be in purgatory for a while with her if he died, it wasn't fair to him. He still had a lot of life left to live.

The problem was, she didn't see what was wrong with him. She had left to take a moonlit stroll, leaving a few ghosts guarding his bed just in case. When she came back he was just lying there, and the guards where no longer in purgatory. There weren't in heaven or hell, either. They were gone. Destroyed. As far as Yukia knew, nobody, not even the Shinigami, could do that.

She was so relieved when the Uchiha child showed up and immediately started to take Naruto towards the hospital. He was too heavy for her to pick up as a dead weight, and even if she got an army of ghosts to help her, somebody had to tell the hospital staff to take him in, because they weren't going to do it voluntarily. Konoha's golden boy was the perfect person for the job.

As for Naruto, he wasn't unconscious, but paralyzed. He remembered everything perfectly, even if it hadn't quite processed it yet. A strange feeling in the middle of the night had woken him up. It was a lot like right before the Uchiha massacre, but even that felt natural to what was coming next.

The first thing that Naruto saw was a black purple light _making a hole in the air_ with his ghost guard standing cautiously around it. The very look of it made Naruto sick. Then something happened which Naruto thought was impossible. A light shot out of the hole, destroying the ghosts. Not sending them to heaven or hell, like the regular dissipating of a soul in purgatory, but completely wiping them off the face of the earth.

Then _he _appeared. It was a spirit, maybe. It felt the same way that the other ghosts did, but it wasn't see-through. It also had pulsing lines of the same purple-black chakra that made up the portal that he had come through. As soon as the new ghost completely materialized, it looked around at the apartment, its yellow eyes eventually settling on Naruto.

# Well, well, # he croaked, its voice having a strange echoing, as though not completely there. # I come, expecting a fight with a full fledged Shinigami, and all I get is a runt. Where is your master, kid? #

"What the hell are you?" asked Naruto in a shaking voice. He seemed not to have heard him.

# Oh, I get it. The Shinigami got bored playing around with those souls not pure or evil enough to get sent to heaven or hell right away, so he appointed a brat. # The ghost moved over to the window and looked out. For a second he looked livid, then let out a full throated laugh.

# Konoha! Of all the places I appeared... # Then he turned back to Naruto.

# Then you're a shinobi? Huh, just a genin, by the looks of you. Not a very good one, either. How far the mighty have fallen! Makes me glad I left, and even gladder to know that my experiment worked. # Suddenly another portal appeared in the same exact spot the other one had.

# Well, that's my ticket to go. But first, before I leave, I'll leave you with two things. First is a message for the Shinigami. # Without even waiting for Naruto to respond, he drove his hand through Naruto's chest. Ignoring the blood that Naruto spat on him, he whispered:

# In case he has has trouble finding me, I'll leave you with my second gift. My name, Orochimaru. #

Then he left Naruto on his bed, trying to heal, with the blood already drying on his chest.

When Naruto finally came to in the hospitable he was alone except for Yukia, although there were signs that someone else had just been there. Yukia made him tell what had happened, which Naruto did willingly. If somebody was freely traversing from the physical world to the spirit one, then the Shinigami had a right to know.

As for Sasuke, Naruto pretended that it had been a failed assassination attempt. It was no secret to Sasuke that Naruto was hated by pretty much everybody, so it wasn't so far fetched. Sasuke new immediately that Naruto was lying, but didn't pursue it. Naruto had to have a pretty good reason not to tell him, and if he didn't want to tell him, then Sasuke wasn't going to try and drag it out of him. Besides, he knew that Naruto had a few more secrets than the average human, and Sasuke wasn't going to learn them by pushing the matter.

Naruto returned school the next day, and tried to forget the whole thing had happened. He had no idea what that thing -Orochimaru- was, and he really didn't want to find out. Let that be the Shinigami's problem. He had something more important to worry about. The Graduation Exams.

Akira met up with Naruto after she finished hunting as he was training with a few Iwa nins. He dodged a practice shruiken and blasted through a trap with a nasty fire jutsu before he noticed her. Naruto was very excited about the genin exams tomorrow, and since Yukia was spending quite a lot of time with a few other ghosts betting on various things, he decided to tell Akira _exactly_ how excited he was.

After two minutes Akira was fast asleep. Naruto was thankfully interrupted by one of the many dead Uchiha.

#Excuse me, sir,# the Uchiha began. Naruto never got tired of them calling him that. He was still slightly annoyed how stuck up the Uchiha had been in life. #We were wondering if could suggest something for your training? There is a scroll in the Hokage tower that has many A and S rank jutsus in it. It would be invaluable to your education.#

"Really? How come one of you just couldn't write down some of the jutsus for me to learn?" Naruto asked, excited about learning several high powered jutsus.

#The jutsus in the scroll are very complicated, so unless you had the original text it would almost impossible for you to learn.# The ghost explained.

**"Take the offer kid, its a good one,"** Kyuubi rumbled sleepily.

"Alright! I can't wait to get started!" It was beginning to get dark, the perfect time for a heist. "Hey, mister, what's your name?" Naruto asked.

#Fuyji. I was Sasuke's cousin.# With one last nod of thanks Naruto bounded off into the darkening forest.

It was surprisingly easy. Naruto only ran into two chuunin level guards. He treated them with one of his prototype jutsus, inspired by a particularly pretty ghost girl. He rarely had time to practice it in case Yukia found him doing it. Still, it worked rather well on the guards. (A/N Only three guesses on what jutsu it was.)

Naruto quickly seized the scroll, and ran back to the clearing in the forest where he usually trained. Rolling it out on the ground he instantly had a dozen or so ghosts writing down the many different jutsus onto special paper that only himself or another ghost could see.

Meanwhile, he started working on the first jutsu on the scroll. Shadow clones. Naruto was pretty good at the regular kind after many chakra control lessons, but was having some trouble with these. Naruto was so preoccupied with the jutsu that he didn't notice that someone was sneaking up on him until he bumped into him.

"What the hell?" cursed the person who had just bumped rather violently into Naruto, who was standing a little away from the scroll practicing the shadow clones. Suddenly the moon came out from behind a cloud and Naruto saw who he was talking to. _Mizuki!_ That idiot bastard who had always given him the worst grade on everything.

Whatever anger Naruto had towards Mizuki, however, it was dwarfed by the pure rage Mizuki was directing at him.

"Demon, what have you done?" he roared, almost foaming at the mouth. "You, the demon who has destroyed so many lives, you just had to go ruin my plans too, huh?"

"What?" Naruto asked, more confused than furious. "What plans? I'm sorry if I accidently messed something up-"

"You idiot! What do you take me for? You're the Kyuubi no Kitsune, don't try to win me over with fake apologizes!"

_"Kyuubi?"_ Naruto demanded silently.

**"Sorry kid, I lied to you. I'd explain it all now, except you might want to hear the next thing this ravaging madman has to say,"**Kyuubi told him sheepishly.

"You think that you're so smart, don't you? Stealing the scroll of seals before I did, huh? Well, you'll pay for messing up my life, fox!" Mizuki yelled at him, starting to twirl a giant shruiken around his hand. He launched it at Naruto, but before it struck a kunai deflected it. Iruka appeared right in front of Naruto, crouched down, protecting him.

The two chuunin that Naruto knocked out before appeared on either side of a stunned MIzuki.

"Mizuki, you are under arrest for the planned robbery of the scroll of seals, as well as telling a S rank secret to an Academy student," one of the chuunin said to him, as another hand cuffed him.

"Naruto," Iruka said, kneeling down to be eye level with a shocked Naruto. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry that I stole the scroll-" He was cut off by one of the chuunin.

"Hey, the way we see it, if you hadn't gotten to the scroll first, then we wouldn't have caught up with Mizuki in time," he explained. Naruto nodded gratefully, glad that the chuunin was one of the few people who did not hate him on sight by principle.

"Well, that clears everything up," said the other chuunin as he rolled up the scroll. "Will you handle Naruto Iruka?"

"Sure." Iruka waved the other two chuunin off and they left with Mizuki in tow. Then Iruka stood there for a second, just long enough for Naruto to get nervous, before he said:

"Naruto, what were you doing with the scroll of seals?" Naruto, however, had other things on his mind and wasn't as worried as he would have been to be accused of thievery.

"Am I really the Kyuubi no Kitsune?" Iruka turned to look at him, worried. Naruto knew, even if Iruka didn't, that he wasn't the demon. Otherwise he couldn't have had a conversation with Kyuubi. But he wanted to- no, needed to know, whether Iruka saw him as a demon.

For the longest time Iruka was silent, and Naruto kept his eyes to the ground. Then he was enveloped in a hug. Shocked, Naruto looked up.

"You are, and always will be, Uzumaki Naruto. There is a difference between jailer and prisoner." Iruka was crying.

A/N If you're wondering why Sasuke and Naruto have such an easy friendship, its because A.) Sasuke didn't actually see his clan being killed, only had to suffer the pain of loss, B.) He still had some family left, so he's not all alone, C.) He doesn't live to kill Itachi. He still hates him for what he did, but his sole purpose in life is not to just kill him.

Yes, I know that the bit about Orochimaru was kind of random, but it will come into play later in the story. I just thought it would be best to introduce him now. Also, If you're wondering why Naruto has only run into him just now, even though he has been ruling purgatory for longer than three years, its because this is the first time the transfer jutsu has been successful, so this is the first time that Orochimaru has passed through purgatory.

Please review! Constructive criticism, and questions are always welcome. Flames will be used to test fire extinguishers.


	5. Teamwork

Retreat and you will age

Hesitate and you will die-

Bleach

Naruto and the Kyuubi had a long talk after Iruka finally let him go home. Naruto learned that the Kyuubi was his prisoner, defeated by the great Yondaime Hokage himself, at the cost of his own life. Naruto listened, in his mind , as the great demon fox explained itself, without a hint of remorse.

Kyuubi explained a lot about himself, his life, but never gave a reason for attacking Naruto's home. He talked of ages past, people and demons alike dead, and promised to teach him everything he knew. But never a word about almost destroying everything that Naruto considered precious.

In the end, Naruto never asked. Never questioned him. He often wondered if he were simply a coward, or if he just didn't care because it was in the past, and the Kyuubi was locked away. If being King of Purgatory had taught him one thing, it was life was very short. Even if Naruto more than deserved an explanation, he just wanted to forget about the whole business.

That didn't mean that he wasn't angry. So he did something that he always did whenever he did when it got to be too much. He went into the forest and beat the crap out of some trees. For three hours.

When he calmed down enough, he called one of his ever-present ghost followers over.

"Hey, you, can you get all the ghost that copied down bits of the Scroll to come here?"

The ghost bowed just like a shinobi before the Hokage, and disappeared. Naruto smiled at the simile just as all the other ghosts arrived. He spent the rest of the night learning as many techniques as he could. He only learned three, not going as fast as he had with the Kage no Bunshin. He had a strange feeling that it was because he didn't have that sense of urgency that had driven him before.

Still, it was surprisingly easy to learn them. Naruto would struggle until he reached a certain point, and then it was like a dam breaking and everything would just flow as though he had been doing the jutsu for years. Naruto was very surprised that the jutsus in the scroll were so easy, since Uchiha Fuyji, the ghost who had initially suggested the Scroll, seemed to think that they would be more challenging than that. Fuyji had even come to stare, along with most of the other ghosts, when he heard of the progress Naruto was making.

#You have got to be kidding me, # he gaped in disbelief just as Naruto learned the third jutsu, right before he collapsed.

Fuyji stood over him, shaking his head. The kid really had no notion of boundaries. It should be physically impossible to learn four s-class jutsus in a night. Not even Uchiha Itachi could have done that, and he should know on that one. He had trained him.

The next thing Naruto knew, something wet was licking his face. He waved a hand at the annoyance, hoping to scare it away. The thing, whatever it was, kept on licking, undeterred.

He swatted again, hoping to get rid of it before he actually had to wake up. No such luck. In a final, desperate, sleepy attempt, he turned over on his side. This, however, was the last straw for whatever had been cleaning his face. The next thing Naruto knew, a sharp, shooting pain was racing through his earlobe.

"Hey!" he shouted, sitting up suddenly. "Akira! What the hell are you doing?"

"Well, I just thought you ought to know that the Academy lessons are starting in five minutes," she answered with the air of one who has been grievously injured. "But I suppose you don't care," she finished with a flip of her tail.

"Oh crap, we've got to go!" Naruto crowed, simultaneously trying to pull on his jacket and boots while running in the direction of the Academy.

"That's what I've been saying!" Akira said impatiently, jumping on his shoulder just as he got all his clothes on.

"Well, you could've told me a little bit sooner!" Naruto responded, shooting past two startled early-morning shoppers as he entered the city limits.

"What am I, your secretary? You should be grateful I woke you up at all!" Akira yipped into his ear, hanging on tightly as Naruto suddenly jumped up onto a roof.

As it turned out, through a bizarre twist of the weather, a clever use of a telephone pole, and a wee bit of luck, Naruto actually arrived a minute early to class. Just enough time to grab a seat next to Sasuke and witness the whirlwind reenactment by Sakura and Ino. Fortunately a fight was averted by the timely arrival of Iruka, who told the lead Sasuke fangirls, in no uncertain terms, that they were either to shut up and sit down or leave, and if they wouldn't, he would personally remove them from the room.

Apparently Iruka was grumpy when he didn't get enough sleep.

After a moment to compose himself, Iruka started announcing the teams. Naruto had barely had time to wonder what happened to Yukia when his team was called.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Harano Sakura," here he groaned audibly, "and Uchiha Sasuke. Under jounin Hatake Kakashi." Naruto was snickering, thinking of all the horrible payback that he and Sasuke could heap on her, when something struck him.

_Did he just say Hatake Kakashi? The one who's always late? Great, now I'm gonna be here forever!_

Unfortunately, Naruto's prediction proved to be true. Or at least, half true. It was at least five hours before their sensei showed up, and he with only two interesting things to distract him.

The first was the arrival of Yukia, who had been gone much of late.

#Sorry I've gone so much lately, # she started apologetically, as Naruto checked under the stalls of the bathroom they had gone to so he wouldn't be overheard by his teammates. Pretending to talk to Akira when he was really talking to Yukia worked well in large crowds, but in front of his two very bored new teammates it was a one-way ticket to the psycho ward.

"That's okay. What's going on?" Naruto asked, slightly worried—after all, Yukia wouldn't have disappeared for such a long time without a good reason.

#You know that incident that happened about a month back? #

"Yes," Naruto responded, slightly frustrated that she was dancing around it like this. He hated it when people patronized him or pitied him.

#Well, the Shinigami recruited me to go look for whoever is responsible. I haven't found anything yet, so it might take awhile. #

"Well, that's good to know," Naruto said, hoping with all his heart that Yukia found the mysterious spirit soon.

If the time spent waiting for Kakashi to arrive was dull for Naruto, it was pure agony for Sasuke. Not only did he not know that Kakashi was infamous for being late, but he was now forced, against his will, to spend time with one of his fangirls.

"Will this ever end?" He thought for about the hundredth time in the last fifteen minutes, tying to block out Sakura's ceaseless chatter.

After ignoring her didn't work, he tried to think of ingenious ways to get her to shut up, involving some very creative uses of the torture chamber below the Uchiha compound.

When this at last too failed, he sunk into a half dose, half trance, usually reserved for the vilest of tortures. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore.

"So Naruto," he said desperately to the blonde who was just returning from his talk with Yukia, "where do you think this Kakashi is?"

Naruto, noticing his friend's distress, said "Well, Hatake Kakashi is notorious for being late, so I guess that he's doing whatever he does while being late."

Seeing Sasuke suddenly deflate, he quickly added, "But I know the perfect punishment for this kind of behavior."

Sakura watched, impressed despite of herself, as she saw Sasuke and Naruto get to work. It certainly promised to a very elaborate, humiliating and possibly painful prank.

At first, Sakura had been overjoyed to be on the same team as Sasuke, even if it meant being on the same team as the Anti-Fangirl, as her sect had dubbed Naruto. She was sure that being on the same team as Sasuke would get her a one up on Ino-pig that she could never live down. She had been flushed with victory.

But now, she just felt guilty and a little bit ashamed. She had just jabbered on and on and on about nothing. Sakura was a smart girl, she really was! The least she could've done was talk about was something interesting, like how you could shape a kunai so it was more accurate, or why the Hokage monument was built, or even her own theories of chakra manipulation.

No, she just had to go on about anything that popped into her head, sounding just every other Sasuke fangirl. Sighing heavily, she rested her head upon her hands and watched the prank in the making.

"Well, if we put the bag over there, then we need to move the glue to the other side of the door," Naruto explained, pointing to the sketch he had made.

"No, no, no," corrected Sasuke, grabbing the map from his friend's hands. "If we move the oil above the door and the bag outside the door, then we can use the fan after we apply the glue."

"No, if we the move the bag outside, he'll see it! What we need to do is-"

"What's that?" a voice behind them suddenly asked. Both boys turned to see Sakura, somehow looking apologetic and curious at the same time. Sasuke opened his mouth to respond with a rude comment, but Naruto beat him to it.

"This is the prank we're gonna pull on this Kakashi guy," Naruto told her politely, giving her the piece of paper. Sasuke gave him his 'what the hell are you doing?' look, to which Naruto responded with an 'I'll tell you later, trust me' look.

Unaware of this silent conversation, Sakura glanced over the sketch, pulled out a pen, and wrote something down.

"Would this work?" she asked shyly. Naruto and Sasuke looked at it, looked at each other, and then smiled.

"Perfect!" they responded simultaneously.

Outside, sitting on a tree, someone watched the going-ons the three inside from around a small orange book, smiling through a facemask.

_They've got potential, but I wasn't expecting the girl to be so down-to-earth._ Glancing down at one of his hands, the figure saw three bells shining up at him.

_Well, I guess I won't be needing these,_ he thought, shoving the three small pieces of metal into his weapons pouch.

Now all that's left is to test the result of their teamwork.

Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto each sat on their own desk, watching the door like hawks, waiting for their teacher, who had already proven himself to be chronically late. However, past history was misleading as, after only a few minutes after the prank setup was completed, Kakashi walked through the door.

He was immediately drenched in oil from a bucket that the door had turned over, just as the fallen bucket fell on a lever, which struck a match that lit his clothes on fire. Relief came before he was harmed in the form of wet glob of glue, which had also been catapulted by the lever.

This respite, however, was short-lived as a kunai, courtesy of Sasuke, who had the best aim, split open the bag, covering the unfortunate jounin in white chicken feathers. And to top it all off, Sakura and Naruto quickly tied him up with ninja wire.

"Smile!" proclaimed Sakura, taking a picture of their dumbfounded sensei, while Naruto and Sasuke tried to get their laughing fit under control.

"That's not fair," muttered Kakashi through a mouthful of feathers. This only made Naruto and Sasuke laugh all the harder.

"Alright, alright; you've had your fun. Meet me on the roof." The next thing they knew, Kakashi was gone, leaving a pile of feathers and wire behind him.

After everyone was situated on the roof, (with much grumbling from the genin about the lack of lasting effects of their prank) Kakashi decided it would be a good idea for introductions.

"Shouldn't you tell us about yourself first, sensei?" asked Sakura. Naruto and Sasuke nodded in agreement. A minute and a half later, they were wondering why they even bothered.

_He didn't tell us anything at all,_ Naruto thought, sweatdropping, unaware that his two teammates were echoing his thoughts.

"You're turn now, pinky," Kakashi announced, pointing to Sakura. Sakura, despite being less bubble-headed than assumed at first glance, still only managed to convey her introduction with much giggling and sidelong glancing to her crush. Sasuke, in turn, decided to be unoriginal, and went with 'brooding genius' that got him into so much trouble with his fan club. Naruto, however, was something different.

"Hi, I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like knowledge, pranks, and secrets. I hate it when people are ignorant when they don't have to be, and when they act different from themselves." Here he glanced over to his two teammates.

"As for my dreams and hobbies, you guys will find out soon enough!" he finished. Kakashi just glanced at him, almost glad at the change in routine.

"Okay... Anyway, I should tell you that you have a test tomorrow."

"A test? What for?" shed Sakura.

"To see whether you become genin or not," Kakashi said casually, enjoying the look that spread over his genin's faces.

"What? Aren't we already genin?" demanded Naruto, as loud as he ever got.

"No, that test was just to see if you could become genin. This is to see if you actually will become genin. And I have to warn you, this test has a failing rate of over 60 percent." He smiled broadly, his one visibly eye turning into an upside down U.

"See you early tomorrow at training ground 7," and with that he left three very confused, very angry genin in his wake.

A chapter! Ye gods, its a miracle! I am so sorry for being so late. It's been what, three, four months since I've updated. ::Wince:: Please don't hurt me!

Hopefully this chapter helps. It is unbetaed, unread, and unrefined. It has been a while since I have written Naruto as well, so if there are any mistakes, please, PLEASE let me know so I can fix them. Again, I am sorry for how long it took me.


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